You know when you ask someone how they are and they say “OMG SO BUSY” and then list all the million and one things they are doing/have seen/ate/experienced/planned?
No one cares. It’s annoying. We are all busy.
I’m so glad you are feeling excited/happy/wonderful
I’m also sad you are feeling lonely/depressed/anxious.
I feel all the feels with you.
But I don’t need a play by play of ALL the parts of your day.
Back when I started coaching I used to over explain what I did.
Why did I do this? Because at the start you want people to get it and you have moments of insecurity (Maybe you are never insecure, but I sometimes was and I’m human so I still have times where I am in life!) and thought that the more I explain, the more this person will get it. Now I don’t do this because no one cares about the 10 interesting things I’m doing. Well some do, but usually not really. I used to feel like I had to prove what I was doing. Now I just do my own thing. As long as long as I feel good about it, then I’m doing it right.
What I have noticed – and again this might not be true for you, but it’s what I have seen in other people/myself is that when someone does this – when they need to tell you all the bits of their productivity/busyness it is coming from a place of insecurity. It comes from a place of feeling like you have to come off a certain way because you don’t want the other person to think you are boring/lazy/stupid/uninteresting (insert other shitty adjectives). Telling/sharing every bit of your day/busyness/productivity becomes a way to make sure the other person doesn’t think they are any of those adjectives.
Does anyone want their friend, colleague, mom, sister, post office delivery man to think they are less than amazing everyday? No, of course not! But in reality you are the only one that really matters. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Your busyness does not equate to being better/best/good.
So when someone asks you “what did you do this weekend?” It doesn’t have to be: “I woke up and then got my nails done and went for a run before hitting the gym and saw my friend Susan and went shopping (got 2 things on sale!) and then made my own pizza for my girls night pizza party then watched 4 episodes of house of cards. Sunday was crazy I had brunch with some friends then volunteered at the animal shelter for 4 hours then made some delicious gluten free pasta for dinner. I’m SO tired, but it was so great.”
I LOVE THAT YOU DID ALL THOSE THINGS, but you do NOT have anything to prove. It’s great if you are busy. It’s great if you are not busy. One is not better than the other. Just do your thing girl. Keep being you. If that looks like making gluten free pasta and volunteering for 4 hours and hanging out with Susan – AWESOME. If that means painting your nails and eating snacks in between streaming shows on Netflix (I know nothing about that scenario…) – AWESOME!
Either way – don’t feel the need to give proof of your busyness/productivity/general greatness because you don’t want someone else to think you negatively about you. They might and it’s okay. You listing a to do list won’t change their opinion. No one thinks happy positive thoughts about everyone all the time. If you feel good about your day and your life then that’s what is really important – not the gluten free pasta you made from scratch.